As artists, healers, working professionals, or parents, it's easy to define our value as what we do for others. We have gifts to share, light to shine, skills to apply, and it can bring a great sense of satisfaction to feel like we can affect change for others. While a purpose-driven life is important, this sets us up for a dynamic in which we feel we must always "add value" to our interactions with people. You may notice a tendency to want to fix, heal, save, or inspire, when sometimes all we need to do is simply be ourselves in the presence of others.
The more we try to add value to interactions (especially at times when our best advice is to simply listen), the more we protect the ego. Sometimes over-giving and pushing our energy outward is a way to protect our hearts from being on the receiving end of pain, rejection or hurt. Yet, in closing that channel, we also close ourselves off to the good stuff. The stuff we actually desire most in relationships -- Acceptance and Love.
Here is a radical question: what if you are valuable for simply being born? For setting foot on this earth? Not an easy concept, right? Most of us have trouble accepting this beautiful truth and allowing it to land in our nervous system. So often we struggle to accept that worth doesn't hinge on what we do or say. It hinges on the very nature of our existence -- the brilliant concoction of traits, emotions, thoughts and magic human dust that makes you.....you.
Step into that naked place for a moment. Try it on for size. What do you notice? Is there a shift in your physiology? How do you interface with your surroundings now? Do you see yourself in the context of others differently? It's vulnerable as hell, right? It requires you to put down those messages of not good enough. It requires you to receive a boatload of love (from yourself first, then from others). Stay with it and you may also notice a great sense of relief and freedom, no longer having to contort yourself into "more." It is enough to be.